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Pope describes how to discover one’s vocation

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By Cindy Wooden
VATICAN CITY (CNS) – Within the universal Christian vocation of serving God and serving others, God handcrafts a specific calling for each person, a vocation that fits his or her personality and abilities, Pope Francis said.
“To discern our personal vocation, we have to realize that it is a calling from a friend, who is Jesus. When we give something to our friends, we give them the best we have. It will not necessarily be what is most expensive or hard to obtain, but what we know will make them happy,” the pope wrote in “Christus Vivit” (“Christ Lives”).
The document, his apostolic exhortation reflecting on the Synod of Bishops on young people, the faith and vocational discernment, was released at the Vatican April 2.
Much of the document is a summary of the discussion at the 2018 synod and a presynod meeting of young adults about ways to improve youth and young adult ministry and create more space in the church for the contributions of young people.
But the most original part of the 35,000-word document is its explanation of what a vocation is – strongly moving away from seeing vocation only as a reference to priesthood or religious life – and practical ways for a person to discern his or her vocation.
A Christian’s first vocation is a call to friendship with Jesus, he said. And closely related to that is the call to serve others.
“Your own personal vocation does not consist only in the work you do, though that is an expression of it,” the pope said. “Your vocation is something more: It is a path guiding your many efforts and actions toward service to others.”
Finding one’s vocation “has nothing to do with inventing ourselves or creating ourselves out of nothing. It has to do with finding our true selves in the light of God and letting our lives flourish and bear fruit.”
God’s personalized gift of a vocation “will bring you more joy and excitement than anything else in this world. Not because that gift will be rare or extraordinary, but because it will perfectly fit you,” Pope Francis wrote. “It will be a perfect fit for your entire life.”
Following a vocation, he said, “is a very personal decision that others cannot make for us,” which is why it requires “solitude and silence,” as well as serious discussions with friends and wise guides.
Pope Francis offered basic questions each person should ask him- or herself: “Do I know what brings joy or sorrow to my heart? What are my strengths and weaknesses?”
But since a vocation isn’t about serving oneself, he said, those questions lead to others: “How can I serve people better and prove most helpful to our world and to the church? What is my real place in this world? What can I offer to society?”
And, then, he said, one must ask: “Do I have the abilities needed to offer this kind of service? Could I develop those abilities?”
Discovering one’s vocation, even in the deepest prayer, is not like finding the exact road map for one’s life with all the stops and starts and obstacles and detours clearly marked, he said. Instead, it is more like being invited on an adventure.
That sense of adventure, even as a person ages and slows down, is what keeps them young at heart, he said. “When I began my ministry as pope, the Lord broadened my horizons and granted me renewed youth. The same thing can happen to a couple married for many years, or to a monk in his monastery. There are things we need to ‘let go of’ as the years pass, but growth in maturity can coexist with a fire constantly rekindled, with a heart ever young.”
Most young people will discover their vocation is to marry and form a family, he said, and that requires preparation to grow in self-knowledge and in virtue, “particularly love, patience, openness to dialogue and helping others.”
“It also involves maturing in your own sexuality, so that it can become less and less a means of using others, and increasingly a capacity to entrust yourself fully to another person in an exclusive and generous way,” the pope wrote.
And while most young people will marry, he said, Catholics must believe that God continues to call men to the priesthood and men and women to religious life.
“The Lord cannot fail in his promise to provide the church with shepherds, for without them she would not be able to live and carry out her mission,” he said. And “if it is true that some priests do not give good witness, that does not mean that the Lord stops calling. On the contrary, he doubles the stakes, for he never ceases to care for his beloved church.”
The key qualification for helping someone in their vocational discernment is an ability to listen, the pope said. The helper may be a priest, religious, layperson or even another young person.
“The other person must sense that I am listening unconditionally, without being offended or shocked, tired or bored,” he said. And while listening, “I need to ask myself what is it that the other person is trying to tell me, what they want me to realize is happening in their lives.”
Assistance also means having such respect for the work God is doing in the life of the other, that the guide would never dare to try to dictate the way forward, he said. “In the end, good discernment is a path of freedom that brings to full fruit what is unique in each person, something so personal that only God knows it. Others cannot fully understand or predict from the outside how it will develop.”
(Follow Wooden on Twitter: @Cindy_WoodenA)

After unrest and anger, new Washington archbishop wants to rebuild trust

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By Rhina Guidos
HYATTSVILLE, Md. (CNS) – Archbishop Wilton D. Gregory, set to become the new head of the Archdiocese of Washington, promised to serve with truth, love and tenderness in a region where he acknowledged “unrest and anger,” after the downfall of former Washington Cardinal Theodore E. McCarrick and the church’s current sex abuse scandal.
“I want to offer you hope. I will rebuild your trust,” Archbishop Gregory said during an April 4 news conference. “I cannot undo the past, but I sincerely believe that together we will not merely address the moments we’ve fallen short or failed outright, but we will model for all the life and teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ and we will reclaim the future for our families, for those who will follow us. That is my greatest, indeed, it is my only aspiration.”

Archbishop Wilton D. Gregory smiles during a news conference in the pastoral center at the Archdiocese of Washington April 4, 2019, after Pope Francis named him to head the archdiocese. He had headed the Atlanta Archdiocese since 2005. (CNS photo/Bob Roller)

Archbishop Gregory was introduced to media gathered for the announcement at the Archdiocese of Washington’s pastoral center in Hyattsville by Cardinal Donald W. Wuerl. Pope Francis accepted Cardinal Wuerl’s resignation as Washington’s archbishop in October and named him apostolic administrator. The cardinal, now 78, had submitted his resignation, as is mandatory, to the pope when he turned 75, but it had not been accepted until last fall.
Cardinal Wuerl had faced pressure to resign following an Aug. 14, 2018, grand jury report detailing past sexual abuse claims in six Pennsylvania dioceses, which showed a mixed record of how he handled some of the cases when he was bishop in Pittsburgh from 1988 until 2006.
Cardinal Wuerl also recently faced questions about what and when he knew about past accusations involving McCarrick, who was stripped by Vatican officials of his clerical status Feb. 16 after months of accusations that he may have sexually molested minors and abused seminarians at various times and places in his 60 years as a priest.
Cardinal Wuerl remains apostolic administrator until the scheduled May 21 installation of Archbishop Gregory, who offered kind words for his predecessor while acknowledging shortcomings.  
“It’s difficult to come into a situation where there is unrest and anger,” Archbishop Gregory said. “I’ve known Donald Wuerl for over 40 years. He is a gentleman. He works very hard for the church. He’s acknowledged that he’s made mistakes. That’s a sign of the integrity of a man. If I can shed light on what I think we need to do in response to some of the mistakes that he’s acknowledged and asked forgiveness for, I’ll do that.”
As he begins his tenure in Washington, following a 14-year stint in Atlanta, Archbishop Gregory said he wants to spend time “in the field.”
“For the foreseeable time, I’m not going to spend too much time in the office,” he said. “I have to be in the parishes, I have to meet with my priests. Why? Because I can’t be their archbishop if I don’t give them an opportunity to tell me what’s in their hearts, to come to know me and to establish a bond.”
He said he wanted to communicate to them his support, affection and yearning to work for Catholics of the region. He acknowledged that Washington, as the country’s seat of political power, may ask for political savvy from its archbishop.
“I see this appointment to be the pastor of the Archdiocese of Washington, I was not elected to Congress and so I intend to speak and promote the church’s moral and doctrinal teaching that comes with the job, but I think my involvement with the political engines that run here has to be reflected through that prism,” he said. “I’m here as pastor. The pastor must speak about those things that are rooted in the Gospel but I’m not going to be at the negotiating tables. That’s not my place. My place is in the pews with my people.”

Mississippi governor signs ‘heartbeat’ bill; opponents pledge legal battle

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By Jacob Comello
WASHINGTON (CNS) – Since the confirmation of Justice Brett Kavanaugh last October and the 2018 midterm elections, a number of states have news laws in place to either expand or restrict abortion, including Mississippi, whose new law puts the state among the most ardent on the pro-life side of the battle.
On March 21, Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant, a Republican, signed into law S.B. 2116, a “heartbeat bill” which will prohibit abortions in the state after the point a fetal heartbeat is detected.
It was approved by a 34-15 party-line vote with most Republicans supporting it and most Democrats rejecting it. The House passed it in a 78-37 vote. Set to take effect in July of this year, it will set tough restrictions for the state’s only abortion clinic – Jackson Women’s Health Organization.
Pro-life advocates cheered the bill’s passage, among them Mississippi Bishops Joseph R. Kopacz of Jackson and Louis F. Kihneman of Biloxi.
In a joint statement, they extolled the bill for protecting “the tiniest and most vulnerable of our citizens” and expressed hope that “the courts will uphold this law and continue to pray for an end to abortion in our nation.” They concluded with a list of clinics in the state that assist women who find themselves in difficult pregnancies.
The bill makes abortions illegal as soon as the fetus’ heartbeat can be detected, which could be as early as six to eight weeks; in some cases it may be as late as 12 weeks when detected with a Doppler fetal monitor. The only exceptions would be to prevent a woman’s death or her serious risk of impairment.
The Susan B. Anthony list, a national pro-life advocacy group based in Washington, echoed similar sentiments. President Marjorie Dannenfelser said: “The people of Mississippi, like most Americans, reject the extreme status quo of abortion on demand through birth imposed by Roe v. Wade. … It is no wonder we see growing momentum to humanize our laws.”
Groups that support legal abortion already have plans to challenge the new law. According to The Washington Post, the Center for Reproductive Rights, the American Civil Liberties Union and NARAL Pro-Choice America have all labeled it unconstitutional and plan to wage a court battle against it soon. Hillary Schellner, an attorney at the Center for Reproductive Rights, told The Washington Post that “this ban is one of the most restrictive abortion bans signed into law, and we will take Mississippi to court to make sure it never takes effect.”
Bryant fired back at the bill’s detractors in a tweet where he affirmed his pro-life convictions. He also mentioned that the prospect of legal challenges only served to strengthen his resolve to sign the measure even before the bill was passed, saying: “We will all answer to the good Lord one day. I will say in this instance, ‘I fought for the lives of innocent babies, even under threat of legal action.’”
A legal fight may indeed prove problematic for the bill. According to The Hill, a similar measure was approved by Kentucky’s legislators and signed by the governor March 15, only to be stopped by an order from a federal judge the same day. The legislation on hold until a hearing on it can be held. Leading the effort against the Kentucky version was the ACLU, which teamed up with the state’s only abortion clinic.
Other states in which heartbeat bills have gained traction include Georgia and Ohio. Iowa also had passed such a measure, but in January, a judge declared it unconstitutional. Other states, like Rhode Island, continue to seek policies that will expand abortion access.

Criminal Justice reform moves forward this session

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By Andre de Gruy
JACKSON – Mississippi Legislature wrapped up their 2019 work early but not without passing several criminal justice-related bills. All three are now on the Governor Phil Bryant’s desk awaiting his signature.
HB 1352, the Criminal Justice Reform Act of 2019, went through several changes during the session.
The final version focused on updating drug court statutes to facilitate different types of “intervention” courts such as mental health courts as well as ensuring people have access to the programs primarily through fee waivers. The oversight commission membership was expanded to include a person with a background in mental health to reflect the broader scope. While some drug courts were allowing medically-assisted treatment the new law will mandate this when appropriate. These treatment methods although controversial have strong support from the medical community as one of the best evidence-based methods to treat opioid addiction.

JACKSON – Mississippi Lawmakers wrapped up the 2019 session a few days early. Several bills related to Catholic Social Teaching passed this year. (Photo courtesy of Shutterstock)


Some of the other features of HB 1352 are designed to help people reentering society from jails or prison. People will no longer face a driver’s license suspension for an inability to pay a fine or for a drug conviction that is unrelated to operating a vehicle. The “Scarlet F” of a felony conviction that follows tens of thousands of Mississippians for their lifetime, preventing many from fully participating in the economy, their families, and their communities, will be easier to remove. Expungement, whipping a conviction off a person’s record, will be available to more nonviolent offenders.
People exiting prison to post-release supervision or parole will have an additional 30 days to get on their feet before they have to start paying supervision fees. Finally, people with drug convictions will no longer face a lifetime ban on receiving SNAP benefits.
SB 2781, the Fresh Start Act, is aimed at ending automatic bars to securing an occupational license because of a conviction of a crime unrelated to the field. For example, many people become skilled barbers in the correctional system yet can’t get a license upon their release.
Another important bill is SB 2328, the Forensic Mental Health Act. This bill amends forensic mental health statutes to facilitate faster administration of justice, relieve burdens on sheriffs and insure constitutional protections for criminal justice system involved people with mental health concerns. Approximately 20 percent of Mississippi’s jail population suffers with a serious mental illness. In a relatively small number, probably less than 20 people a year, the illness is so severe they are not competent to be prosecuted and cannot be restored to competency. This act is designed to speed up evaluations to make this determination and to expedite moving the person from the jail to a hospital.
In addition to the changes in the “intervention” courts in HB 1352, the Legislature appropriated additional funds to the Supreme Court to update the data system used to track and evaluate the courts and to facilitate development of mental health courts.
While all of this is good there is still much left to do. These new laws will have little if any impact on the state’s large prison population. Despite significant decreases in prison population after the 2014 reforms, Mississippi only moved from number two to three in incarceration rate. Prisons all over the state remain overcrowded, putting guards and inmates in jeopardy and diverting money from recidivism reduction and reentry programs to security needs. To avoid significant increases in corrections spending – taking money away from education, health care and other important needs – Mississippi’s institutions will need to continue reforms in 2020 with the intent of safely reducing the prison population.

(André deGruy is a member of St. Richard Parish, the diocesan Faith In Action Team and The Mississippi State Public Defender.)

Pope signs letter to young people at popular Marian sanctuary

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By Carol Glatz Catholic
VATICAN CITY (CNS) – The place Pope Francis chose to sign his letter to young people is an important and popular sanctuary housing the Holy House of Loreto.
According to tradition, the tiny stone house is considered to be the home where the Mary was born and raised and also the house in which the Holy Family was thought to live when Jesus was a boy. It also is held to be the place where Mary received the angel’s annunciation and conceived the Son of God through the Holy Spirit.
With his visit, the pope will encourage young people and pray that Mary “takes them by the hand and guides them with joy” to their own generous declaration of “Here I am, the servant of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word,” Archbishop Fabio Dal Cin of Loreto told Vatican News March 21.
By signing a document based on a synod’s discussions about young people, faith and vocational discernment, the pope also is making a symbolic gesture, connecting the place venerated to be the home of “a very special family” with all the world’s families and the family of the universal church, the archbishop said in a video interview posted on the sanctuary’s website, www.santuarioloreto.it.
The pope signed the document – titled in Spanish, “Vive Cristo, esperanza nuestra,” (“Christ, Our Hope, Lives”) – in the basilica housing the shrine March 25, the feast of the Annunciation.
The gesture at the sanctuary, like the document itself, is a renewed call to focus on “accompanying the younger generations,” Archbishop Dal Cin told Vatican News.
This reflects a similar historic visit, he said, when St. John XXIII went to the shrine of Loreto in 1962 to entrust to Mary the Second Vatican Council, which began a week later.
In Loreto, St. John prayed that Mary, “as ‘Help of Bishops,’ to intercede for me as bishop of Rome and for all the bishops of the world, to obtain for us the grace to enter the council … with one heart, one heartbeat of love for Christ and for souls.”
On the 50th anniversary of St. John’s visit to Loreto, Pope Benedict XVI visited the shrine in 2012 to entrust to Mary the Year of Faith, which began a week later, and the Synod of Bishops on the new evangelization.
Archbishop Dal Cin said Pope Francis entrusting to Mary the letter to young people at the same shrine shows a similar desire that she help the world’s bishops so the document would have a fruitful pastoral outcome.
Millions of people visit Italy’s most important Marian shrine each year. It was even popular with St. John Paul II, who went to this eastern seaside town five times during his pontificate.
The small house, which is surrounded by a large, intricately carved marble structure inside the main basilica, is actually made of three stone walls. The shrine’s caretakers say research has shown the brown and tan stones came from Palestine. The stones, now smooth from the touch of centuries of pious hands, were hand cut in the shape of bricks – a technique used by the Nabatei tribe, which was then also present in Palestine.
According to tradition, the Holy House was carried by angels from Nazareth, Israel, to this hillside town the night of Dec. 9-10, 1294, after making a three-year stop in Croatia. The shrine’s custodians say the stones were actually removed from the Holy Land and carried by ship by a member of the Angeli family.
The family name is also the Italian word for “angels,” thus being the probable reason for the more popular notion of winged angels flying the house to Italy.

But where are the others?

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IN EXILE
By Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI
Most of us have been raised to believe that we have right to possess whatever comes to us honestly, either through our own work or through legitimate inheritance. No matter how large that wealth might be, it’s ours, as long as we didn’t cheat anyone along the way. By and large, this belief has been enshrined in the laws of our democratic countries and we generally believe that it is morally sanctioned by Christianity. That’s partially true, but a lot needs to be nuanced here.

Father Ron Rolheiser


This is not really the view of our Christian scriptures, nor of the social teachings of the Catholic Church. Not everything we acquire honestly through our own hard work is simply ours to have. We’re not islands and we don’t walk through life alone, as if being solicitous for the welfare of others is something that’s morally optional. The French poet and essayist, Charles Peguy, once suggested that when we come to the gates of heaven we will all be asked: “Mais ou sont les autres?” (“But where are the others?”) That question issues forth both from our humanity and our faith. But what about the others? It’s an illusion and a fault in our discipleship to think that everything we can possess by our own hard work is ours by right. To think this way is to live the partially examined life.
Bill Gates Sr., writing in Sojourners some fifteen years ago, challenges not only his famous son but the rest of us too with these words: “Society has an enormous claim upon the fortunes of the wealthy. This is rooted not only in most religious traditions, but also in an honest accounting of society’s substantial investment in creating fertile ground for wealth-creation. Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all affirm the right of individual ownership and private property, but there are moral limits imposed on absolute private ownership of wealth and property. Each tradition affirms that we are not individuals alone but exist in community – a community that makes claims on us. The notion that ‘it is all mine’ is a violation of these teachings and traditions.” Society’s claim on individual accumulated wealth “is rooted in the recognition of society’s direct and indirect investment in the individual’s success. In other words, we didn’t get there on our own.” (Sojourners, Jan-Feb., 2003)
Nobody gets there on his own and so, once there, he needs to recognize that what he has accumulated is the result not just of his own work but also of the infrastructure of the whole society within which he lives. Accordingly, what he has accumulated is not fully his, as if his own hard work alone had brought this about.
Beyond that, there’s something else which Benjamin Hales calls “the veil of opulence” which lets us naively believe that each of us deserves everything we get. No so, says Hales. A lot of blind luck in involved in determining who gets to possess what: “The veil of opulence,” he says, “insists that people imagine that resources and opportunities and talents are freely available to all, that such goods are widely abundant, that there is no element of randomness or chance that may negatively impact those who struggle to succeed but sadly fail through no fault of their own. … It turns a blind eye to the adversity that some people, let’s face it, are born into. By insisting that we consider public policy from the perspective of the most-advantaged, the veil of opulence obscures the vagaries of brute luck. But wait, you may be thinking, what of merit? What of all those who have labored and toiled and pulled themselves up by their bootstraps to make their lives better for themselves and their families? This is an important question indeed. Many people work hard for their money and deserve to keep what they earn. An answer is offered by both doctrines of fairness. The veil of opulence assumes that the playing field is level, that all gains are fairly gotten, that there is no cosmic adversity. In doing so, it is partial to the fortunate. … It is an illusion of prosperity to believe that each of us deserves everything we get.” (New York Times, August 12, 2012)
Scripture and the Catholic social teaching would summarize it this way: God intended the earth and everything in it for the sake of all human beings. Thus, in justice, created goods should flow fairly to all. All other rights are subordinated to this principle. We do have a right to private ownership and no one may ever deny us of this right but that right is subordinated to the common good, to the fact that goods are intended for everyone. Wealth and possessions must be understood as ours to steward rather than to possess absolutely. Finally, perhaps most challenging of all, no person may have surplus if others do not have the basic necessities.
In any accumulation of wealth and possessions we have to perennially face the question: “Mais ou sont les autres?”

(Oblate Father Ron Rolheiser, theologian, teacher and award-winning author, is President of the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, TX.)

Beginnings and endings for Norbertines

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Millennial reflections
By Father Jeremy Tobin, O.Praem
Holy Week is upon us and we will be immersed in all the rituals and ceremonies celebrating death and life. The legislative session is mercifully over, and the politicians are all out campaigning to get reelected. We still fight for the same social justice issues that so much need to be addressed, but these days, we do it with a fresh spirit. Is it the coming of Spring perhaps? There is some new energy that gets released when the Vernal Equinox arrives.

Father Jeremy Tobin

So, the coming of Easter is a new beginning. We celebrate death and resurrection. We do this so often in our own lives. Spring is a time of letting go – perhaps in the form of “spring cleaning.” Perhaps in the form of a walk outside to witness the transformation of the landscape. Out in the woods around our priory new creatures emerge; birds have staked out their turf. The fresh green leaves, the blossoms and the extended daylight say out loud life continues. Even death is the seed that produces new life.
Endings and beginnings. During my 30-years of work in Chicago, I got to know a lot of folks with roots in Mississippi. One family moved back to Vicksburg in the early 80s. They waited until they heard a blizzard was about to bury Chicago and the temps would plummet to invite me South for a visit. For three years in the 80s I spent the week after New Year’s in Vicksburg eating soul food and talking about the old days. I did not know then that my community would seek to establish a foundation in Mississippi.
We Norbertines came to Jackson, Mississippi, in 1990 at the invitation of the late Bishop William Houck. We took up residence at Jackson St. Mary Parish, 653 Claiborne Avenue. In November, 2004, we moved into the new priory on Midway Road. Bishop Joseph Latino blessed it. From then till now more than 15 Norbertines were part of this community. Mississippi changed all of us, for me – the change was profound.
A lot happened in 29 years. I reconnected with Mississippi people related to Chicago people I knew. I learned so much more about the struggle for justice that shapes my life.
But, as we all got older, no young blood stepped forward to replace us. So, our leadership in De Pere Wisconsin decided to close the priory and move us back to St. Norbert Abbey. This has been in the works for a couple of years and now we are selling the property and moving back by June. People are shocked but I have to get this out there.
We live in a fast-paced changing world. Climate change is going on right now even though we may be unaware. A chunk of a massive glacier in Antarctica, the size of the state of Florida is rapidly coming apart. The sea levels are dramatically rising. Nothing we can do about it now. Scientists are measuring the changes anticipating the outcome. There are pictures from space. There are oceanographer ships out there close by. They write about the warm water hollowing out the glacier until giant pieces collapse. Our planet is changing. We need to reread Laudato Si again. Maybe it is the first time. There is wisdom and a plan to protect our common home.
Lent is so much about mercy and compassion. The Scripture readings for Sundays and weekdays make for great reflection. The prodigal son, the woman awaiting stoning, the woman at the well. The morning I am writing this, at the Carmelite monastery we read from John 5: 17-30. Jesus is describing his identity and mission. In verses 22 and 23 he says, “Nor does the Father judge anyone, but he has given all judgment to his Son, so that all may honor the Son as they honor the Father…” We see just how a merciful judge Jesus is. “Has no one accused you?…Neither will I accuse you. Go and sin no more.”
We will miss our home in the deep South, but we must also embrace our beginnings and our endings. Me? I will move back with my brother Norbertines and then return to Jackson and take up residence at Holy Family Church on Forest Avenue off Watkins with Father Xavier Amirtham, our Norbertine pastor, for another year. I hope to do what I am doing now and be useful. I hope to continue writing for the Mississippi Catholic until I “really retire” up North. There will be more to come. Be blessed everyone.

(Father Jeremy Tobin, O.Praem, lives at the Priory of St. Moses the Black, Jackson.)

Speaking up can lead to healing

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Dounce of Prevention
By Reba J. McMellon, M.S., LPC
Whether the perpetrator of abuse is a family member, a member of the clergy, a teacher or a stranger, publicly coming forward can take years and sometimes decades. People often wonder why report the crime after so much time has passed.

(Reba McMellon,


If a child is in the second grade and is being sexually abused, they can’t get in their car, move away, get an apartment and thus find safety. Second graders have very little power over their lives. They have to go to school every day and blend in academically, learn all sorts of basic math skills, eat breakfast, play on a sports team, interact like a normal child. If the abuse is ongoing, they learn to compartmentalize the trauma so they can go on to the next day, the next year and on with some semblance of a life. Sometimes the trauma of sexual abuse gets buried so deeply it doesn’t surface for decades.
This can be the case no matter how old the person is when the abuse happens. Memories sometimes are repressed completely until triggered later in life. Others don’t completely forget what happened but minimize it and put a lot of energy into not dealing with the damage.
When working with adult survivors of sexual abuse, it is quite common to have women come for counseling in their early 30s, after the birth of their first child.
The experience of pregnancy is one in which the body has been taken over by something one is not completely in charge of. The experience of giving birth is sometimes traumatizing. Having an innocent child of your own changes perspective and sometimes triggers memories. It is common for new mothers come to counseling with excessive worry and fear that something bad was going to happen to their child.
This prompts the survivors to uncover the trauma and walk through it.
It is rare someone wakes up and decides to publicly report sexual abuse and exploitation out of the blue. More often, it is after working with a counselor or spiritual director for a long period of time to build skills, confidence and understanding that it was not their fault. More often than not, it takes years to realize it was life-altering abuse.
Male survivors of sexual abuse often seek counseling after a long history of unstable relationships, promiscuity or the inability to be intimate. Men often come to counseling well into adulthood with a lot of life behind them, before disclosing childhood sexual abuse.
Counselors don’t always encourage the survivor to disclose their abuse publicly. When there is imminent danger to others, reporting the perpetrator is encouraged. If the abuser still has access to children, disclosing the crime publicly serves the greater good and empowers the survivors.
Publicly reporting childhood sexual abuse and exploitation should not be confused with sharing the trauma with trusted friends and family members. Keeping the abuse a complete secret perpetuates the shame and damage.
It takes a strong stable person to be able to speak out with confidence and tell publicly what happened to them. It can be retraumatizing. The public will question the legitimacy of the report and agencies will investigate whether the “story” is credible. Bear in mind, we are talking about intimate and horrifying facts.
The public can unwittingly say incredibly insensitive things such as, “those people just want attention.” It would take a severe personality disorder to humiliate themselves and others for attention. There is a small percentage of individuals who falsely report. It is not difficult to diagnose such a person through the interview process, when the interviewer is appropriately trained.
Statistics consistently show that one in three females are sexually abused before the age of 18. One in five males are sexually abused before age 18. These numbers haven’t gone up or down drastically in the 35 years I have studied child sexual abuse. What we can change is how we respond to reports of abuse whether it’s decades later or immediate.
The healing that can result by breaking the silence of sexual abuse is encouraging. I’ve often said a person cannot recover from what they haven’t uncovered. Wonderful strides have been made in our society when it comes to responding to allegations of sexual abuse.
If you’re tempted to wonder what difference reporting abuse makes now, after all these years, please know it makes all the difference in the world. It leads to healing, safety and hope for the future.
The Lord is close to the broken hearted, He saves those whose spirit is crushed. Psalm 34:19

(Reba McMellon, M.S. is a licensed professional counselor with 35 years of experience. She worked in the field of child sexual abuse and adult survivors of sexual abuse for over 25 years. She can be reached through The Mississippi Catholic or rebaj@bellsouth.net.)

The Best of Enemies

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By John Mulderig
NEW YORK (CNS) – “The Best of Enemies” (STX) is an appealing fact-based drama that promotes humane values and Gospel-guided behavior. On that basis, many parents may consider it a rewarding film for older teens, the inclusion of some mature material notwithstanding.
Set in 1971 Durham, North Carolina, writer-director Robin Bissell’s adaptation of Osha Gray Davidson’s 1996 book – subtitled “Race and Redemption in the New South” – traces the evolving relationship between no-nonsense civil rights activist Ann Atwater (Taraji P. Henson) and C.P. Ellis (Sam Rockwell), the head of the local Ku Klux Klan.
The two, who initially want nothing to do with each other, are forced to spend time together as leading participants in an arbitration process deciding the future of the city’s still-segregated educational system. A damaging fire at a black school has brought the issue to a head and Bill Riddick (Babou Ceesay), an expert in mediation, has been brought in to try to achieve consensus.
He sets up a series of meetings collectively called a charette, at the end of which a panel made up of an equal number of blacks and whites will vote on whether to maintain the status quo. As the process unfolds, Ann and C.P. gain insights into each other’s lives and characters.
C.P. begins to question his racist views – which are based, in part at least, on the fact that he has always avoided having any dealings with African Americans. The gas station he owns, for example, will not serve black customers.
For her part, fiery Ann comes to see that C.P. is not entirely evil. In fact, in some respects, he’s quite vulnerable.
This is particularly true with regard to one of his three sons, a developmentally disabled lad confined to a home for whom C.P. cannot afford the kind of care he would like. Ann, who carries a Bible with her and says grace before each meal, intervenes with a friend on the staff of the facility where the boy lives to bring about an improvement in his situation.
Though C.P. at first reacts to this thoughtful gesture with disdain, not wanting to be indebted to Ann in any way, in the long term it becomes an important turning point in the evolution of his outlook. His gradual change of heart, which will ultimately have very positive consequences, also is encouraged by his sensible wife, Mary (Anne Heche).
Bissell evokes strong performances from his fine cast and his picture’s themes of reconciliation and equal dignity for all will be on target for believing moviegoers. The story he tells might seem pat if it were not derived from real events. As it is, viewers can come away from “The Best of Enemies” hopeful, despite the many fraught and contentious circumstances of our own era.
The film contains some nongraphic violence, including gunplay and the threat of rape, an act of sexual aggression, a few uses of profanity and of crude and crass language and racial slurs. The Catholic News Service classification is A-III – adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 – parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13

Unplanned

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By John Mulderig
NEW YORK – The hard-hitting, fact-based drama “Unplanned” (Pure Flix) dares its viewers to confront the reality of what happens when a baby is aborted.
That’s an effective strategy on the part of co-writers and directors Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon, not least because the peculiar institution of our day thrives on concealment, muddled thinking and Orwellian euphemisms. But it also means that this emotionally unsparing film is not for the casual moviegoer of any age.
Adapted from the eponymous 2011 memoir by Abby Johnson (Ashley Bratcher), “Unplanned” traces her steady rise to become one of the youngest Planned Parenthood clinic directors in the country. Yet it also shows how she gradually became uneasy about the organization’s marketing of abortion.

Emma Elle Roberts and Jared Lotz star in a scene from scene from the movie “Unplanned,” the story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic director, and her decision to join the pro-life movement. The Catholic News Service classification is A-III — adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is R — restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. (CNS photo/Unplanned.com)


The conversion in her outlook reaches a dramatic climax when Abby is asked to assist a doctor performing the procedure and witnesses via sonogram what it actually involves. As the child in the womb tries to move away from the suction tube and medical containers quickly fill with blood, this scene may prove as upsetting for the audience as it was for Johnson.
Her new stance is welcomed by Abby’s husband, Doug (Brooks Ryan), and parents Kathleen (Robin DeMarco) and Mike (Robert Thomason), all of them pro-life. It also brings reconciliation with some of the protestors she once considered adversaries, including 40 Days for Life activists Shawn (Jared Lotz) and Marilisa (Emma Elle Roberts).
Unsurprisingly, Abby’s ornery former superior, Cheryl (Robia Scott), views her change of heart in a different light. Once Abby’s mentor, infuriated Cheryl becomes the moving force in a lawsuit against her ex-protege as well as against Shawn. Kaiser Johnson steals this portion of the picture playing Shawn and Abby’s unflappable lawyer, Jeff.
While Cheryl is clearly the villain of the piece, the script avoids demonizing all those associated with Planned Parenthood. Nor does it present all pro-life activists in a positive light. Whether this sense of balance will give “Unplanned” any traction with supporters of legal abortion is open to question, however.
Given that the full horror of slaughtering the unborn is on display here, the parents of older teens will have to decide whether the informative value of Abby’s story outweighs its disturbing elements. Those also include a sequence showing the sufferings Abby endured after taking RU-486 in the second of her own two abortions.
The film contains gruesome images of abortion and dismembered fetuses, much medical gore, a mild oath, a few crass expressions and a vague sexual reference. The Catholic News Service classification is A-III – adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is R – restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

(Mulderig is on the staff of Catholic News Service.)