Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle
We greet another new year in the shadow of the pandemic. The surge in Omicron cases is the latest setback to our return to a ministry of presence. While it may feel like we are never going to get out from under the endless battle against this virus, we have come a long way since the early days of COVID. The years of 2020 and 2021 have given all of us tremendous opportunities for growth, as well as shining moments of hope.

This past fall, I read the book Leading Causes of Life: Five Fundamentals to Change the Way You Live Your Life by Gary Gunderson and Larry M. Pray. The premise of the book is that we study the leading causes of death, but we do not give a similar treatment to the causes of life.

The five causes of life identified by the authors are connection, the breath of air on which our very lives depend; coherence, the idea that life makes sense; agency, the human capacity “to do;” blessing, as a form of gratitude and a conscious effort to pay it forward; and, hope, which is tied to that which we are most connected to.

As one reflects on these five causes it does not take long to recognize how the pandemic has impacted our ability to be connected, find coherence, apply agency, experience blessing and find our hope.

This book was written in 2009, long before we could even conceive of a pandemic. The leading five causes of life held immense value then. They are even more important today. It is not enough to know them; we must live them.

When you see or feel a cause of life is escaping you it is a call for action. Increasing connection, developing coherence, identifying agency, experiencing blessing and naming our hope is within us.

One of the take-aways from our time sheltering in place was recognizing the importance of productive, intentional, lifegiving service, not mere busyness. I was challenged to look at where I see the causes of life in my ministry and my daily living. Gratefully, I discovered that the causes of my life are alive and well-forgive the pun. Chief among the activities that are lifegiving is my current role in working with the Synod on Synodality for the diocese.

The Synod is animating all five causes of life. I had the opportunity to visit Christ the King parish in Southaven for their first of several sessions. It was a gift to watch the process unfold. I witnessed the signs of life blossoming before me. The room was a buzz with friendly conversation and connection. I witnessed coherence as members of the parish were prayerful in discerning the Holy Spirit’s call.

In their responses to the process, I heard their call for agency in naming the positive changes they can affect. Blessing was abundant in their response to the needs of the larger community for those who are struggling economically, physically or spiritually. I left the session with a great deal of hope that we have been changed for the better because we took the time to stop and listen, pray and share, and dream.

At the synod session break, I was approached by a young boy, about nine years of age. He politely asked me if he could get me anything to drink. I requested a cup of black coffee, which he delivered with great enthusiasm. We exchanged a few more words and he went back to his table.

Over the next few days, I could not stop thinking about the hospitality this thoughtful child showed to me, the joy in which he served, or the way he conducted himself. He seemed far too self-possessed for a boy his age-or was he? I am certain I will recall him as we continue to discern our path forward as church. He reminded me of what is truly at stake. This young boy is not the future of the church, he is, as Pope Francis would say, the church of the now.

Finding a way back to one another after two years of separation, political division and unspeakable loss is not an easy task. The promise in our future is not that it will be void of difficulty. The promise in our future is that we do not walk alone in the journey. God promised when two or three are gathered in his name he is with us. With that hope let us animate the causes of life in our communities. It is our great diversity that makes us One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic.

(Fran Lavelle is the Director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

GUEST COLUMN
By By Reba J. McMellon, M.S., LPC
Mental health awareness has almost become a buzz phrase. You hear it in in the Olympics, certainly in response to the pandemic, and “Hipsters” are all into it.

Being aware of one’s mental health is one thing. Doing something about it is another.

Have you ever been told, “Maybe you should go talk to somebody?” It’s a suggestion that can set you back on your heels. I was told this during a conversation and my first thought was, “I am talking to somebody, I’m talking to YOU.”

Having someone suggest you could benefit from counseling can be off-putting. However, counseling is a valuable service and most people would do well by giving it a shot. But where do you begin? How do you find a good counselor or psychologist? It’s not an easy subject to approach. The following are a few indications that professional counseling is warranted:
• If the problem has been bothersome for years and no matter whom you talk to it keeps coming back.
• If you suffer silently and feel embarrassed by emotional symptoms that are uncomfortable to discuss with people you know.
• You have a problem that is seriously interfering with your quality of life.
Research has repeatedly shown the number one factor that predicts positive outcome in counseling is the connection between counselor and client. You will know within the first three visits if the counseling relationship is working for you. Do not let guilt or vulnerability be a factor in maintaining a therapeutic relationship that is uncomfortable. Don’t fall into the “it must be me” trap.

If you like your physician, ask if they could provide a referral. Your minister or clergy should also have a list of counselors they would recommend. An even better way to find a counselor is to ask a friend who has been to counseling for a referral. Referrals can come from anyone you trust with good sense.

A second way to find a counselor to talk to is through your health insurance. Ask what providers they cover and about their credentials.

Ask the counselor a few questions. For instance, ask about his or her office hours. Ask about licensure, credentials and experience. What university did they attend? Tell them just a little something about your issue, and then ask what their approach to counseling is. Sometimes counselor’s will only answer these question in the first session, but be sure to ask them.

If you are steeped in a certain religion that is important to you, tell them this ahead of time and ask if this would pose any problem.

The things you should listen for are:
• Openness to answering your questions. This does not mean going into detail about your presenting problem, just openness to answering your questions and concerns.
• Does it feel like you can connect with this person? If they give you the “willies” on the phone, they are likely to give you the “willies” in person.
• Does it sound like they would welcome you as a client? Haughty or distant are not good signs.
Prices vary due to the level of education but not necessarily due to the quality of service. Again, your health insurance may be a help in in this area.

The most important point is that some people are truly wonderful matches and others have the credentials and training but lack the style or personality you need. Consider going outside your immediate geographical range, if necessary.

Try not to be derailed by the “stigma” of seeking professional counseling. Emotional healing and behavior change can lead to a healthier spiritual and physical life.

The healthiest people I know are the ones who have sense enough to want help, to seek it out and stick with it.

(Reba J. McMellon is a freelance writer, columnist and consultant. She lives in Jackson and can be reached at rebaj@bellsouth.net.)

IN EXILE
By Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI
No one is an island; indeed, no one is ever really alone. If you are a person of faith or even just someone with a highly attuned intuitive sense, you will know that there is no such thing as a truly private act, for good or bad. Everything we do, no matter how private, affects others. We aren’t isolated monads whose private thoughts and acts have no effect on anyone else. We know this, and not just from our faith. We know it intuitively by what we sense in our lives.

How do we sense what lies hidden in the privacy of other people’s lives? Conversely, how does what happens in the privacy of our own lives affect others?

We don’t have a metaphysics, a phenomenology, or a science through which we can tease this out explicitly. We just know it is true. What we do in the private recesses of our hearts and minds is in some ways sensed by others. Every religion worthy of the name teaches this, namely that we are all in some real, mystical, symbiotic communion with each other where ultimately nothing is truly private. This belief is shared by basically all the great world religions – Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Taoism, and American and African Native religions. No religion allows for a private sin that does not affect the whole community.

This explains some of Jesus’ teachings. Jesus teaches that it’s not only our outward actions that help or hurt others; it’s also our innermost thoughts. For him, not only may we not do harm to someone we hate, we may not even think hateful thoughts about him in our private thoughts. Likewise, it not enough to discipline ourselves sexually so as to not commit adultery, we have to even discipline the erotic thoughts we have about others.

Why? What’s the harm in private thoughts? It is more than the danger that if we think certain bad thoughts about others, we will eventually act them out (true though this may be). What is at issue is something deeper, something contained explicitly in the Christian notion of the Body of Christ.

As Christians, we believe that we are all members of one living organism, the Body of Christ, and that our union with each there is more than metaphorical. It is real, as real as the physicality of a living body. We are not a corporation, but a living body, a living organism, where all parts affect all other parts. Hence, just as in a live body, healthy enzymes help bring health to the whole body, and infected and cancerous cells threaten the health of the whole body, so too inside the Body of Christ. What we do in private is still inside the body. Consequently, when we do virtuous things, even in private, like a healthy enzyme, we help strengthen the immune system within the whole body. Conversely, when we are unfaithful, when we are selfish, when we sin, no matter that this is only done in private, like an infected or cancerous cell, we are helping break down the immune system in the body. Both healthy enzymes and harmful cancer cells work in secret, below the surface.

This has important implications for our private lives. Simply put, nothing we think or do in private does not have an effect on others. Our private thoughts and actions, like healthy enzymes or infected cells, affect the health of the body, either strengthening or weakening its immune system. When we are faithful, we help bring health to the body; when we are unfaithful, we are an infected cell challenging the immune system within the body.

Whether we are faithful or unfaithful in private affects others, and this is not something that is abstract or mystical. For example, a spouse knows when his or her partner is unfaithful, irrespective of whether or not the affair is exposed. Moreover, the spouse knows this not just because there may be subtle betrayals of the infidelity in the other’s body language and behavior. No, she knows this at a gut level, inchoately, mystically, because in some dark inexplicable way she senses the betrayal as a strain on the health and integrity of their marriage. This may sound more metaphorical than real, but I invite you to check it out in life. We feel infidelity.

We know some things consciously and others unconsciously. We know certain things through observation and others intuitively. We know through our heads, our hearts, and our guts, and through all three of these faculties, sometimes (because inside of a body all parts affect each other) we know something because we sense it as either a tension or a comfort inside our soul. There are no private acts. Our private acts, like our public ones, are either bringing health or disease to the community.

I leave the last words to the poets: If you are here faithfully, you bring great blessing. (Parker Palmer) If you are here unfaithfully, you bring great harm. (Rumi)

(Oblate Father Ron Rolheiser is a theologian, teacher and award-winning author. He can be contacted through his website www.ronrolheiser.com.)