FROM THE HERMITAGE
By sister alies therese
“Don’t turn a deaf ear when I call to You, God. If all I get from You is deafening silence, I’d be better off in a Black Hole.” (The Message, E. Peterson, Ps 28:1)
And that’s how it is for many of us … there is no answer to prayer, no sense that God is listening. During Lent we have been turning our minds and hearts toward the relationship we have with Jesus so that we might be purified vessels for God to use. How is that working for you? Have you made great progress this year, unlike years before? Maybe not.
Our CCC highlights this issue in Part Four, Christian Prayer. Here are a few key ideas: “Why do we complain of not being heard? (2735 ff) … what motivates our prayer: an instrument to be used or the Father? … pray to be able to know what He wants? If we enter into the desire of the Spirit, we shall be heard.”
Psalm 28 continues, “I’m letting You know what I need, calling out for help and lifting my arms toward Your inner sanctum. Don’t shove me into the same jail cell with those crooks who are full-time employers of evil. They talk a good line of ‘peace’, then moonlight for the devil.” Oh, ok … I’m letting You know … what arrogance! Deciding what God should do and how He should do it. Maybe it is all ‘about me’? Afterall, it is my prayer. Really, I’m the one who knows who I want to pray for, what I need, and what I think God needs to hear. Does it surprise you that He might not be listening to that attitude while deciding what He will be gifting you?
We also find this in the CCC (2697 ff): “Prayer is the life of the new heart. It ought to animate us at every moment. But we tend to forget Him who is our life and our all … prayer is a remembrance of God often awakened by the memory of the heart: ‘We must remember God more often than we draw breath’ (St. Gregory Nazianzus).”
Because prayer is a fundamental relationship, the attitude mentioned might be how we relate to other people. Do we actually listen or are we reworking our responses as they talk? Does anger feature in our relationships; is there desire for retaliation in our resentment, bitterness or sadness? The desert Fathers and Mothers (4th century) offer lessons for us. “Abba Evagrius once defined prayer as ‘the seed of gentleness and the absence of anger.’ Further, ‘the opposite is also true. The desire to retaliate could be so deeply imbedded that any attempt at prayer would be futile; to be able to pray again, one would have to deal with the particular source of that anger.’”
You wonder if or when God is listening to you? Consider Abba Zeno: “If a person wants God to hear quickly, … one must pray with all one’s heart for one’s enemies (Mt 5:44). Through this action God will hear everything you ask.” (The Word in the Desert)
Oh, so I need to change my attitude? A new heart? Perhaps one resembling Brother Lawrence (The Practice of the Presence of God, Carmel, Paris, d. 1691): “Ah, did I know my heart loved not God, this very instant I would pluck it out. O loving-kindness so old and still so new, I have been too late loving You. You young … consecrate all your early years to His love … believe me count as lost each day you have not used in loving God.”
CCC challenges us to this kind of loving (2730) when facing difficulties in prayer: “the battle against the possessive and dominating self requires vigilance, sobriety of heart. When Jesus insists on vigilance, He always relates it to Himself, to His coming on the last day and every day, today. ‘Come,’ my heart says, ‘seek His face.’” With an attitude as arrogant as we began with, we are not seeking His face, but our will and desires. Fortunately, the psalmist has moved from that attitude to more understanding, rooting his life in thankfulness and joy, “Blessed be God – He heard me praying. He proved He’s on my side; I’ve thrown my lot in with Him. Now I’m jumping for joy, and shouting and singing my thanks to Him. God is all strength for His people …. Save Your people and bless Your heritage. Care for them; carry them like a Good Shepherd.”
As we move toward the Passion and Easter, let us, with Brother Lawrence, beg for enrichment of soul, courage in difficulty, and grateful love. “We have a God who is infinitely gracious and knows all our want … He will come in His own time, and when you least expect it. Hope in Him more than ever; thank Him…” (Br. Lawrence, Third Letter). Can He hear you now? I suspect so!
Blessings. Happy Easter.
(sister alies therese is a canonical hermit who prays and writes.)