DIOCESAN NEWS
03/20/09
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‘If not our son, then whose?’
      What do parents experience when their son hears a call to consider the priesthood? Rhea and Denise Vincent, members of St. Jude in Pearl, are the parents of seminarian Rusty Vincent, who graduated last year from St. Joseph Seminary College in Covington, La., and is now a first year theology student at Notre Dame, New Orleans. By Fr. Kent Bowlds
      “We don’t consider ourselves anything special,” Rhea says, “we just left the avenue open.” Denise adds, “For your child to consider a vocation, you don’t have to be overly holy; I certainly don’t think we were.”
      Denise is a teacher’s assistant and Rhea a civil engineer; they have raised four children – Rusty being the second oldest, with two sisters and one brother.
      Denise has a cherished uncle who is a priest. And religious vocations were always one of the many options she and Rhea discussed with their children when gathered around the family table or during the many car rides taking the children to and from extracurricular activities.
      “We tried to help them see an unlimited number of doors to the future, and then encouraged them when they started to express an interest in some particular area,” Rhea says. “We told them to try to be happy first, rather than think just about the money they could make.”
      Denise thinks those family discussions helped Rusty to keep an open mind. “When our parish priest, Father Martin Ruane at that time, asked Rusty, ‘Have you ever thought about becoming a priest?’ Rusty did not discount it entirely.”
      It is one thing to think about the priesthood, and quite another to announce that intention.
      “I was somewhat surprised, because Rusty had never really spoken about it before he went to college,” Denise remembers. Rhea laughs as he recalls that moment, “and then Rusty had his mother tell me – but once it sank in, after a while, I was fine with it, because you realize you can’t wish for your children only what you wished for yourself; they have to make their own decisions. We are very proud of Rusty and all of our children.”
      “You want your children to have a good life – easy in the sense of everything flowing as it should, and from my own uncle’s life, I know the priesthood is not always easy,” Denise says. “And I told Rusty I worried about how people would react to him, what they would think and whether they would be encouraging to him.”
      In their extended family, the reactions to Rusty’s announcement ran the full gamut from elation to skepticism – Denise’s mother saying, “I’ve been praying for one of my grandsons to become a priest!” and Rhea’s father exclaiming “What?!”
      And they have experienced the same range of reactions from those outside their family. “I’ve had to defend my faith a little more,” Rhea says, acknowledging Rusty’s entrance into the seminary encouraged him to be a little more diligent in his own practice of the Catholic faith.
      “I find myself having to answer even more questions from coworkers about Catholicism ever since Rusty became a seminarian, partly out of a father’s instinct to protect his son. It’s like he’s taking me with him, whether he likes it or not, so I’m going to defend him if necessary.”
      Sometimes Denise has been taken aback by the reaction of other mothers, Catholics included, who wonder how she can so readily support Rusty’s decision. “I’m not sure even they always know why they are hesitant to support religious vocations for their children.”
      Some express admiration for her since it means losing the opportunity to have more grandchildren. “I’ve been approached by mothers of sons, who say ‘It’s easier for you, Denise, because you have another son besides Rusty.’ But I think I would feel the same way, even if Rusty was our only child; we would still support him in his choice; we couldn’t stand in the way of God’s intentions for him.”
      Rhea and Denise agree it is normal for parents to be hesitant when their child expresses an interest in a religious vocation, similar to the way parents are careful and inquisitive when a child announces the intention to marry.
      “It’s OK to have doubts and to voice those concerns,” Denise says, “because you have to get everything out and talk about it, but then I think you have to be open to it.”
      To other fathers Rhea says, “We need leadership and moral guidance in the church, and it starts with our parish priests; if we don’t have enough of them, we will all lose out.”
      For Denise, it simply comes down to this: “If not our son, then whose?”
(“Hearing the Call” is a monthly series of interviews with people who “have welcomed Christ’s call . . . to proclaim the Good News everywhere in the world” (Catechism, par. #3). To submit ideas or comments contact Fr. Kent Bowlds, vocation director, website: jacksonvocations.com, 601-720-7273)

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