Events, programs aim to strengthen marriage by Fabvienen Taylor VIEW GALLERY
JACKSON — What makes for a successful marriage?
“Once you make the commitment, stick with it,” said Vincenzo Verderaime, a parishioner of Greenwood Immaculate Heart of Mary. “And stay with the Lord in church.”
Every year on their wedding anniversary, he and wife Joyce, married 50 years, have their marriage blessed at church and then go out to celebrate.
“I think you have to have faith, hope and love,” said Joyce Verderaime. “Love is the most important one of all.”
The Verderaimes were among the 35 couples celebrating major wedding anniversaries at a special Mass celebrated by Bishop Joseph Latino on World Marriage Day, Sunday, Feb. 15, at the Cathedral of St. Peter the Apostle.
Keeping your family life important and staying in church were high on the list for Dorothy and Morris Anderson, Batesville St. Mary parishioners, also celebrating their 50th anniversary.
“And give on both sides,” she said. “That’s the main thing.”
Holy Ghost parishioner Arthur McLin Sr. said, “Be nice and treat your wife right. Whatever she wants or needs, try to do it. And go to church every Sunday.”
He and wife Lillie Mae are celebrating 60 years of marriage.
“Take every day as it comes,” said Frank Oliverio of Corinth St. James. “And always love one another. That’s it and it has worked for me 50 years with my wife Pat.”
Polling couples attending World Marriage Day can result in lots of pithy advice on building and sustaining a successful marriage.
But these couples represent only 50 percent of couples who married. Divorce claims the other half.
Across the United States churches and other organizations are sponsoring events, workshops and programs to help slow the tide of broken marriages.
World Marriage Day is an event sponsored by Catholic Charities’ Office of Family Ministry (OFM) which provides programs, services and resources to strengthen marriages and families.
In March OFM is offering a four-week Marriage Enrichment Series forl married couples of all faith backgrounds from newly-weds on up, according to Louise Dillon, OFM director.
“We had the wonderful opportunity of being trained last March at the Gottman Institute in Seattle and we want to share some important research with married couples to help them build stronger and more satisfying marriages,” she said.
Sessions will be held from 6:30 - 8 p.m. on Mondays, March 2, 9, 23 and 30 at St. Paul Church in Flowood.
Couples need to attend together for the presentations, discussions and exercises to strengthen and enrich their marriage. Child care will be provided.
Registration is $25 per couple per session. Those wanting to attend can call 601-326-3719.
The series is based on research covering 30 years of interviewing, observing and videotaping couples by Dr. John Gottman.
During the sessions couples will learn how to protect their marriages from conflict and how to insure positive feelings and emotional connection.
The series is divided into four sessions: How to Create and Sustain a Foundation of Friendship in Your Marriage; How to Maintain Positive Feelings and Prevent Emotional Disengagement; How to Regulate Conflict in Your Marriage; and How to Create Shared Meaning.
For three decades Gottman has conducted research on all facets of married life, including parenting issues, according to the Gottman Institute website www.gottman.com.
In collaboration with his wife Dr. Julie Gottman, he has developed an approach that strengthens happy marriages and committed relationships and supports and repairs troubled ones.
The institute provides workshops and training materials for couples, and the Gottman Relationship Center and Referral Network, the clinical branch of the Institute, provides therapy to couples.
Dr. John Gottman is author of “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” a New York Times bestseller.
Dillon and Valerie McClellan, both licensed therapists/social workers, will conduct the sessions.
They will share Gottman’s ideas about what tasks couples need to do to build a successful relationship and what things cause problems, Dillon said.
For example, take friendship, she said.
“Couples can find out how their friendship within marriage is doing. We will give them exercises to increase their friendship and their knowledge of each other.”
Josephine Fulcher of Vicksburg St. Michael Parish would second that motion. In their 50 years of marriage, she has kept no secrets from William.
“I don’t ever not tell him something,” she said at the reception following the special Mass for World Marriage Day.
“I tell him everything. Couples should start off being honest with each other, and stay that way so they get to really know each other,” she said.
Dillon said the sessions are not going to be a big group process. “There will be some discussion of the principles and we will give handouts. The optimum thing would be for couples to attend all four sessions, but they don’t have to.”
Each year the Office of Family Ministry/Soloman Counseling Center offers a series of marriage preparation and enrichment programs.
Some parishes also celebrate World Marriage Day for couples.
Parishes may also offer special events to strengthen marriages such as the Supper & Substance Candlelight Dinner at St. Richard Parish.
In January 78 couples attended the fifth annual supper which costs $35 and features a talk by a couple from the parish.
Nancy McGhee, St. Richard director of evangelization, introduced the program to her parish and each year coordinates it.
McGhee described Supper & Substance as “a simple, positive approach to helping couples, within their church parish, appreciate that matrimony is a life-long process requiring continual attention and God’s loving presence.”
She said couples get the opportunity to meet other couples from the parish, enjoy a nice meal and witness an inspiring presentation.
McGhee has information about the program if other parishes are interested in bringing it to their church.
