‘I have come to know church, church knows me’
Seminarian Charles Macko, currently serving in Natchez, will be ordained to the transitional diaconate on Saturday, Jan. 31, 2009, 10:30 a.m., at the Cathedral of St. Peter the Apostle. All are invited to join in this celebration. His ordination to the priesthood will take place in the summer of 2009.
By Charles Macko
In an earlier letter to the People of God in the Diocese of Jackson, I used a road metaphor – reflecting on how my journey through the seminary went from a dirt road, to gravel, to paved. Soon I will exit off my formation road and merge onto the super highway of priesthood. Before getting on that busy highway, I’m going to pull off at a convenience station, fill up, get a cup of coffee, and take a break to reflect on the journey that I have just completed.
Before going into the seminary, I felt that I was called. I thought a lot about it and eventually went to seek direction. The vocation director (then Father Joe Tonos) reminded me I didn’t have to have a permanent answer to the call at that moment. I could discern more about it in the seminary.
I thought, “What? I can discern my calling in the seminary? I thought I had to know for sure if I was being called by God before I entered.” He told me the seminary is not only a house of formation, but is also a house of discernment.
When I entered I focused mostly on being formed – academically, spiritually, and otherwise, and secondarily thought about whether and how to answer God’s call. During five years of formation, I learned how to pray, building a closer relationship with the three persons of God; I learned more about my relationship with him; and I learned more about his church. The more I learned and prayed, the more love for him and faith in him I had.
Then the sixth year came. That was the year that my discernment was challenged and really put to the test. Notre Dame Seminary’s formation team, along with the bishop and vocation director (Father Kent Bowlds), agreed they wanted to discern more about my future vocation.
I had thought I was the only one discerning; however, they, too, discern one’s call. This was a revelation to me, and I struggled with it. I was asked to take another year for “all of us” to discern.
During that time, I saw many of my classmates conclude their seminary formation and be ordained, and was discouraged to see them do so before me. I thought for the first time that God might not be calling me to the priesthood. During this time of struggle, I thought I might not want to be a priest. “I can easily walk out now,” I told myself.
I brought these struggles to God – specifically to the second person in the Trinity, Jesus Christ. I told him I did not think this challenge was fair and asked why this was happening to me, and asked him to be with me during this time.
He gave me the strength not to walk out, the courage to humble myself, and the peace to accept whatever decisions were to be made. That year I grew deeper in prayer, wiser in my knowledge of God and his church, and more confident in myself and in my faith.
In these last seven years, the years during which my future bride (the church) and I have been courting, there have been ups and downs, joys and challenges, good times and bad. During the courtship, I met and learned more about her friends (the saints) and her family (the Trinity and Mary), and we shared many meals together (the Eucharist).
I have come to know the church better, and the church has come to know me. We are now ready to make a commitment and take our relationship to the next level.
On Jan. 31, 2009, I will publicly make a commitment to the Roman Catholic Church. I, along with the Diocese of Jackson, joyfully invite you to my ordination to the sacred order of deacon. I ask for your continued prayers, and pray Christ’s peace be with you all.
(“Hearing the Call” is a monthly series of interviews with people who “have welcomed Christ’s call . . . to proclaim the Good News everywhere in the world” (Catechism, par. #3). To submit ideas or comments contact Fr. Kent Bowlds, vocation director, website, 601-944-9844.)
