`Tis different season, for some
By Fabvienen Taylor
JACKSON — “Do we have enough money?” inquired Derrick “D. J.” McNealy Jr. on a recent trip to the grocery store with his mother, Tyna.
A month earlier the seven-year-old, trying to save his parents $10, trimmed his hair with a disposable razor.
“He probably heard us talking after we bought our house about saving money and buying less expensive things,” said D. J.’s mother, Tyna.
While Tyna and husband Derrick don’t sit down and discuss the family’s finances with D.J., they answer his questions and concerns in a way their second-grader understands.
“The economy is so much in the media so it doesn’t surprise me D.J. is thinking about it,” said Louise Dillon, licensed clinical social worker/counselor and director of Catholic Charities’ Office of Family Ministry.
“In adult conversations and on the news children may hear about the three auto companies asking for money, about layoffs,” she said.
It’s good to answer children’s questions, Dillon said, but parents don’t always have to wait until then.
“It’s good also to invite children to tell you what’s on their minds. Then, if they are thinking something totally unrealistic and going to bed at night scared that mom and dad don’t have enough money, it gives you the opportunity to reassure them, to let them know they are secure,” she said.
A child’s thoughts, said Dillon, could be causing them a lot of anxiety.
If so, that means some children could be falling right in step with the thousands of people for whom each year the tolling of Christmas bells is anything but music to their ears.
“There are people who hate this season, for whom Thanksgiving to Christmas is the worst time of year,” said Sister Paulinus Oakes, St. Dominic Hospital chaplain.
A Sister of Mercy, she conducts a monthly grief workshop at 6 p.m. Tuesdays at St. Thomas Hall, which is located on the hospital’s north campus.
For her December workshop, “Grief During the Holidays,” the crowd would be the year’s largest.
“Christmas is very sad for a lot of them,” Sister Oakes said. “They may be depressed about having lost a loved one, or a job, or they are just sad and lonely at this time of year. And this time of year is when there are the highest number of suicides.”
Peter Meyers is executive director of CONTACT the Crisis Line, an interfaith telephone ministry for troubled callers.
“Things are rough right now for a lot of people,” he said. “Just ride around and look at the foreclosure signs in yards. And in this economy there are more job losses. Homelessness has increased and a lot of people just feel more desperate.”
In addition to increased calls around grief issues this time of year, the volunteers at CONTACT hear from people with the “holiday blues,” Meyers said.
“The ‘holiday blues’ is a seasonal affective disorder (SAD),” he said. “The shorter days mean there is more darkness, which causes some people to become depressed, to feel fatigued, and to experience other problems. They have a very, very difficult holiday season.”
All three counselors — Dillon, Sister Oakes and Meyers — stress the importance of people reaching out for help when they are troubled, need someone to talk to. And likewise, for people to reach out to them.
For children, especially younger ones, Dillon said, barring any physical reasons, changes in behavior — aggressiveness, clingyness, acting out — may signal something is bothering them that they may not be able to come out and express.
Don’t blow off their concerns, telling them everything is alright. “Tell them you are glad they are sharing their concerns with you, that you know how they are feeling, and after explaining how things are, tell them it is something they really don’t need to be worried about,” said Dillon.
If talking and listening doesn’t work, all is not lost, according to Dillon, mother of seven with 11 grandchildren.
“In our household when there was something we couldn’t solve, we would pray together about it, asking God to give us his peace,” she said.
People troubled, at any time, can call CONTACT, seek counseling or grief workshops. Sister Oakes is aware of workshops at St. Richard Parish here and in Greenville, St. Joseph Parish.
Individuals, Dillon said, should not be shy about calling or visiting someone they know is depressed by the holidays.
“People are afraid they may say something to upset the person, but just reach out to them. Let them know they can express their sadness with you, that you are honored and feel gifted to be able to share some part of their grief journey with them,,” said Dillon.
Back at the McNealy household, D. J. keeps his eyes primed for any bargains. Not long after discovering the family’s favorite Mexican restaurant was a little pricey, he offered an alternative — a pizza parlor.
SOLOMON COUNSELING CENTER
The Solomon Counseling Center of Catholic Charities was developed in response to the growing needs of central Mississippi for affordable, comprehensive, and professional counseling services for individuals, couples and families.
Counselors are specifically trained to deal with trauma-related reactions, acting as leaders in the introduction and utilization this therapy statewide. The Solomon Center is a Department of Mental Health certified community out-patient counseling center for children and adolescents.
Services are provided at a flat fee per hour most major insurance carriers and Medicaid are accepted. Practicing Catholics, referred by their pastor, are eligible for assistance through Catholic Service Appeal funds.
Appointments available Monday — Friday, 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. After hour appointments available based on counselors availability. Located: Catholic Charities Main Office, 200 North Congress Street, Suite 100. Call 601- 355 - 8634; Crisis Line: 601- 376 - 0500.
CONTACT the Crisis Line
Contact the Crisis Line is an interfaith telephone ministry to troubled callers. The ministry’s hallmarks are the compassion, respect, and nonjudgmentalism its trained volunteers show callers, confidentiality, anonymity, and availability at no charge 24 hours a day.
The Crisis Line serves the Jackson local dialing area, Pike and Warren County areas, and receives calls from across Mississippi and beyond.
Contact the Crisis Line’s mission is: to listen, to counsel, to make referrals, to provide information, to pray and share Scripture if requested, to intervene in emergencies, to operate Contacto Línea de Crisis, to operate a Contact Reassurance program, to educate volunteers for Crisis Line work and/or prepared to extend the services of other agencies.
Call 601-713-4099, website www.contactthecrisisline.org: for crisis help or someone to listen, call 601-713-HELP (4357) or 601-366-9298 (Spanish).
