If you could eliminate a day, which one?
By George Valadie
January 6, 2012
Amid all our holiday hoopla it would have been easy to have missed this little tidbit of New Year news from across the globe.
But in preparation for the year ahead, the country of Samoa  decided to skip a day. Literally.
The lucky among us, we get to lay out Christmas or New Year’s. But these folks really did it right. They made one magically disappear.
For a variety of reasons, their government decided they no longer wished to reside on the eastern side of the International Dateline. Tracing from North Pole to South, the thing already meanders like a drunken sailor through the vastness of the Pacific.
So apparently, countries that live on or near the dateline are allowed to pick and choose. Why not? Can anyone name the Dateline Dictator who might punish them for their choice?
Located a few miles to the east of what was no more than someone’s imagination, they prefer a shift to the western side. Pretty sure their homes wouldn’t be drifting that way, unless relocated by a disaster, they decided to do the next best thing. They’re pretending.
Still, you can’t make such a decision without understanding the repercussions. The most notable being that when their citizens went to bed on Thursday, Dec. 29, they awoke on Saturday, the 31st.
For these people, Friday, Dec. 30, 2011, never happened. No TGIF. No anxiously staring at the punch-out clock. They enjoyed a real four-day week. A perfected Skip Day! But who cares really?
Mapmakers should get a boost in business; airline schedulers are no doubt scheduled for a headache. If you earn an hourly wage you’d care for sure. But the government proclaimed its laborers had to be paid for their non-existent shift. And for bankers who charge interest? No such luck — the disappearing day was declared an interest-free holiday.
These officials may have torched a day but they had the sense not to ignite an Occupy Apia movement. They like their capital city as calm as it always is.
Their neighbors, American Samoa, will continue to reside on the eastern side, which – when you think about it – should only be one hour different. But those folks didn’t lose a day. Deciphering that chaos is left to each reader.
It’s not the first time for such dramatic decision-making within their borders. Historically, Samoa had already swapped from West to East. I suppose they tried their new time zone for 100 years and just didn’t care for it anymore.
And two years ago, they experienced a lifestyle upheaval we can’t even imagine. Their drivers were told to swap from the right side of the road to the left.
Really? Who are these people? Our leaders can’t agree on a budget. But if they can do it, why can’t we? You and me, I mean.
Finagling a bit and imagining a twist or two, what if it were possible for each of us to skip right through one entire day of the year ahead? And not one of those holidays that is celebrated nationwide, what fun would that be. Instead, how about we do away with any 24 hours we’d rather live without. You choose yours, I choose mine.
The only hitch is that we must all continue being human – without any supernatural sense of the future.
What day would you pick? As for me, I can think of several.
The coldest day of winter can go for sure.
I attended the saddest of funerals recently. They’ll keep happening, but I wouldn’t mind passing on one of those.
Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Ship-stuff-back Tuesday come to mind as options and I don’t even shop all that much.
I hate any of the Saturdays that Notre Dame loses. And I can’t yet decide about my birthday. If I don’t have one, might that mean I’m not here?
Once a year I always seem to find a way to make Nancy cry. That’s a nightmarish day, night and week I can do without.
Whenever a student chooses the sort of stupidity from which there is no return, those are horrible hours.
I wish I knew when my wife is going to get inspired for me to paint stuff. And no one loves the holidays more than I do but I always hate lighting-up-the-front-bushes day.
I’ll gladly pass on Valentine’s Day if I screw it up. Never mind if I don’t.
Any day that “politics” leads off the national news. Or the painful tears wrought by tsunamis, earthquakes and tornados. The first day back after vacation is a killer.
And lastly, I won’t lie. I’d gladly pass on any day where a doctor learns about me and my body parts.
But really, we’ll get no such chances. The first day we miss will follow the last one we got to be here. And who wants that?
Dear God – We thank you for this chance to be here – may we celebrate every moment of this New Year! Amen.
(George Valadie is president of St. Benedict at Auburndale School in Cordova, Tenn.)
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